I’m jealous, the docs won’t schedule me for the cataract thing yet.
As for your critic? I can’t help but note that the old thing about how you have to invite a vampire in is nowhere truer than right here on Al Gore’s Internet, where you have to perform the act of reading or viewing whatever, and have so much say about whether you do so or click away that entire industries are devoted to trying to make people choose to invite particular content in. Vampire? Oh please do pull the other one, it’s got bells on.
I appreciate you. I appreciate your writing and sharing. This Lutheran pastor in Minnesota keeps trying to listen for the living voice of God amid words and embodied words who are walking around glorious and struggling and gasping for Breath. Keep writing and being precisely the quirky you. We need that.
Congratulations on successful cataract surgery. I had both eyes done in October and the difference is indeed miraculous. However, I find that I still need to wear glasses because when I'm out and about, I keeping having to "put on/take off" my mid-range glasses to see small things. Very disconcerting, so I bought another pair of progressive bifocals. They arrive today, I hope in time for me to wear them to the 50th anniversary of some dear friends this afternoon.
As to your critic, after more than 50 years as a professional writer, my response to such crabbing is, "Thank you very much. If you don't like what I write, don't read me." Then I move on to more appreciate pastures. Being vulnerable is one thing; letting yourself in for doubt and self-recrimination is not needed or welcomed. Unless you are utterly horrible in content, you're entitled to write whatever you damn well please.
The readers rock. Give you that I’m smart and nerdy look, kinda like how I picture you anyway. Now, about letting jackasses steal your joy, hurt your feelings and keep you from growing: Don’t. I know it’s difficult and I know you want to be esteemed but some people are jackasses and always will be. I appreciate your bald honesty about your struggles, weaknesses and trials. They make you real and the world needs more real, honest, vulnerable and wounded souls.
If they haven’t walked a step, much less a mile in your shoes then they can just shut the Hell up. If they’re on such a high moral, spiritual plane that they feel the need to judge you for what you say then it’s their issue not yours. They need to spend some time in your fire and at Chris’s cross. I’m trying so hard to not sound callous and say ‘fuck ‘em’ but I just did.
Thanks for letting me in on your walk and life. You’ll probably not know how much of an example and encouragement you are to me.
As one of your other commenters said, 'If you don't like what I write, don't read me'. Maybe the comment was ‘written’ by a bot or some form of AI.
I welcome comments that correct factual errors or that add new information. But generally I find that the comments merely show that the commenter has not actually read what I wrote.
Two bloggers that I follow and respect, and who have many interesting insights, have their Comment feature turned off.
It’s good to hear about the cataract surgery. Someone close to me had the same procedure about three months ago. It did not make much difference. (In her case, the goal was to reduce the ‘starburst’ effect when facing oncoming headlights while driving at night.)
An exercise which helps me with negative projections: Imagine that this person has just handed you a Hefty bag of garbage, saying, “Here, carry this.” Put the bag on the ground, sort through it, and take out the couple of things which belong to you. Retie the bag and hand it back to them, politely saying, “I believe the rest of this is yours.”
Most of the comments so far have been to do with negative feedback that you received. But you also raised the topic of the attributes of a good priest or church leader.
You say that you need a ‘strong sense of self’ to be a parish priest. Indeed. I would further suggest that he or she also needs a strong sense of purpose.
Most priests are general managers of a small or medium-sized enterprise. For business owners the mission is usually straightforward ― something on the following lines:
1. Be profitable.
2. Have satisfied customers.
3. Build resilience and reserves for long-term survival.
A priest, however, cannot define success or failure so easily. For example, if he or she creates a valued prayer group, but also has P&L that’s in the red, has he succeeded or failed?
I suppose that it comes down to strengthening your strengths, and delegating the weak areas. In this case, the priest will work hard on creating other prayer ministries, but delegate the financial issues to someone who can fill the role of CFO.
I suspect that this topic could be full post in its own right.
I too had a reaction to being told vicariously “you’re going about it wrong.” Early in my 34 years of teaching high school and junior high English, I decided I would never teach This is The Way to Read or Write, but would concentrate on getting students to WANT to read and write and to help them
See that neither is one way street. That was a fabulous decision, leading to a level of reward I dont think enough people get. I’m glad you punched through the wall created by that comment.
The honesty and reality of your posts is refreshing in this era of trying to be what a writer THINKS people want to hear rather than how the writer actually feels. Reality is threatening to so many. It is important to accept reality and understand that God knows why the obstacles are there and has the ultimate plan. Having lost my prison ministry on site position has meant working from home and having someone else take over on site has been difficult, but this "Church Mom" has actually grown and so have the "church kids" have been moving into becoming "church adults."
A short note to say I very much appreciate your writing style and observations. When I read your emails I feel like I'm there in the room. Enjoying the coffee (one of the primary food groups, in my opinion), listening to the sounds of the house, and to the thoughts in my head (work tasks, family tasks, my own feedback to myself).
Your thoughts, both personal and general, not only remind me that there are people with doubts and joys like me. But they also remind me of the mystery which exists, and that while we don't always know where God is, God knows where we are. Peace.
Patrick, thanks for this. Coffee is essential. Amen. That moment of attentive stillness is everything to me in the morning. Your comments are incredibly kind. Thank you.
Thank you, that was helpful.
I’m jealous, the docs won’t schedule me for the cataract thing yet.
As for your critic? I can’t help but note that the old thing about how you have to invite a vampire in is nowhere truer than right here on Al Gore’s Internet, where you have to perform the act of reading or viewing whatever, and have so much say about whether you do so or click away that entire industries are devoted to trying to make people choose to invite particular content in. Vampire? Oh please do pull the other one, it’s got bells on.
Cataracts surgery was…revelatory in the best way.
And, yes, vampires. That was a good word.
Defy that gravity. Love you.
I appreciate you. I appreciate your writing and sharing. This Lutheran pastor in Minnesota keeps trying to listen for the living voice of God amid words and embodied words who are walking around glorious and struggling and gasping for Breath. Keep writing and being precisely the quirky you. We need that.
Congratulations on successful cataract surgery. I had both eyes done in October and the difference is indeed miraculous. However, I find that I still need to wear glasses because when I'm out and about, I keeping having to "put on/take off" my mid-range glasses to see small things. Very disconcerting, so I bought another pair of progressive bifocals. They arrive today, I hope in time for me to wear them to the 50th anniversary of some dear friends this afternoon.
As to your critic, after more than 50 years as a professional writer, my response to such crabbing is, "Thank you very much. If you don't like what I write, don't read me." Then I move on to more appreciate pastures. Being vulnerable is one thing; letting yourself in for doubt and self-recrimination is not needed or welcomed. Unless you are utterly horrible in content, you're entitled to write whatever you damn well please.
Have a good weekend.
Apparently, all the things "someone" criticized about your writing is what I love about it . . .
The readers rock. Give you that I’m smart and nerdy look, kinda like how I picture you anyway. Now, about letting jackasses steal your joy, hurt your feelings and keep you from growing: Don’t. I know it’s difficult and I know you want to be esteemed but some people are jackasses and always will be. I appreciate your bald honesty about your struggles, weaknesses and trials. They make you real and the world needs more real, honest, vulnerable and wounded souls.
If they haven’t walked a step, much less a mile in your shoes then they can just shut the Hell up. If they’re on such a high moral, spiritual plane that they feel the need to judge you for what you say then it’s their issue not yours. They need to spend some time in your fire and at Chris’s cross. I’m trying so hard to not sound callous and say ‘fuck ‘em’ but I just did.
Thanks for letting me in on your walk and life. You’ll probably not know how much of an example and encouragement you are to me.
As one of your other commenters said, 'If you don't like what I write, don't read me'. Maybe the comment was ‘written’ by a bot or some form of AI.
I welcome comments that correct factual errors or that add new information. But generally I find that the comments merely show that the commenter has not actually read what I wrote.
Two bloggers that I follow and respect, and who have many interesting insights, have their Comment feature turned off.
It’s good to hear about the cataract surgery. Someone close to me had the same procedure about three months ago. It did not make much difference. (In her case, the goal was to reduce the ‘starburst’ effect when facing oncoming headlights while driving at night.)
An exercise which helps me with negative projections: Imagine that this person has just handed you a Hefty bag of garbage, saying, “Here, carry this.” Put the bag on the ground, sort through it, and take out the couple of things which belong to you. Retie the bag and hand it back to them, politely saying, “I believe the rest of this is yours.”
Most of the comments so far have been to do with negative feedback that you received. But you also raised the topic of the attributes of a good priest or church leader.
You say that you need a ‘strong sense of self’ to be a parish priest. Indeed. I would further suggest that he or she also needs a strong sense of purpose.
Most priests are general managers of a small or medium-sized enterprise. For business owners the mission is usually straightforward ― something on the following lines:
1. Be profitable.
2. Have satisfied customers.
3. Build resilience and reserves for long-term survival.
A priest, however, cannot define success or failure so easily. For example, if he or she creates a valued prayer group, but also has P&L that’s in the red, has he succeeded or failed?
I suppose that it comes down to strengthening your strengths, and delegating the weak areas. In this case, the priest will work hard on creating other prayer ministries, but delegate the financial issues to someone who can fill the role of CFO.
I suspect that this topic could be full post in its own right.
I too had a reaction to being told vicariously “you’re going about it wrong.” Early in my 34 years of teaching high school and junior high English, I decided I would never teach This is The Way to Read or Write, but would concentrate on getting students to WANT to read and write and to help them
See that neither is one way street. That was a fabulous decision, leading to a level of reward I dont think enough people get. I’m glad you punched through the wall created by that comment.
The honesty and reality of your posts is refreshing in this era of trying to be what a writer THINKS people want to hear rather than how the writer actually feels. Reality is threatening to so many. It is important to accept reality and understand that God knows why the obstacles are there and has the ultimate plan. Having lost my prison ministry on site position has meant working from home and having someone else take over on site has been difficult, but this "Church Mom" has actually grown and so have the "church kids" have been moving into becoming "church adults."
I really appreciate your openness and vulnerability and do not find you vampiric in the slightest.
That’s kind of you to say. Thank you.
A short note to say I very much appreciate your writing style and observations. When I read your emails I feel like I'm there in the room. Enjoying the coffee (one of the primary food groups, in my opinion), listening to the sounds of the house, and to the thoughts in my head (work tasks, family tasks, my own feedback to myself).
Your thoughts, both personal and general, not only remind me that there are people with doubts and joys like me. But they also remind me of the mystery which exists, and that while we don't always know where God is, God knows where we are. Peace.
Patrick, thanks for this. Coffee is essential. Amen. That moment of attentive stillness is everything to me in the morning. Your comments are incredibly kind. Thank you.