The Tenth Day of Christmas: Dopamine Jesus
“Quotidian” is such a good word.
I really should eat something.
I’ve taken my meds. I’m enjoying a strong cup of coffee. I fed my child. These are all the kind of small victories that I treasure. I have to count them as victories rather than the status quo. Why? Well, other than feeding my child, they are easy to forget. I forget to care for myself so easily. It’s not a trauma response. It’s simply hard to form habits that aren’t utterly dependent upon everything else being in its right place.
Just because it makes me feel good doesn’t mean it’s a manifestation of the presence of God. Incarnation is tricky. It takes discernment.
If I wake up late, I forget my meds. If I wake up early, I forget my meds. I have to wake up at the same time every day or else I forget my meds. The scaffolding of every day life is an absolute life saver.
Yes, I set alarms. The first thing my computer does in the morning is remind me to take my “dailies.” Do I? No. Why? Because there’s something else online somewhere that feeds my dopamine habit more than taking my meds does. Jesus, be a dopamine hit!
In all sincerity, dopamine hits and religious/spiritual experience are easily conflated, but they aren’t necessarily the same. Just because it makes me feel good doesn’t mean it’s a manifestation of the presence of God. Incarnation is tricky. It takes discernment. More often than not, Jesus is the scaffolding that keeps me sane rather than the moment of titilation that keeps me excited.
Jesus is the polyrhythmic beat that provides the structure to my otherwise chaotic existence.
I’ve stopped asking for life to make sense or to fit some mold. Recognizable and predicable success, apparently, has gone the way of the dodo. I am doing something else now, something new. I don’t even recognize it yet. But there’s Jesus keeping me grounded and present in the quotidian. I have to trust that the rest will work itself out somehow.
Today’s Quotation: Awareness of the sacred in life is what holds our world together and the lack of awareness and sacred care is what is tearing it apart. Sr. Joan Chittester, OSB
She ain’ wrong. Y’all be excellent to each other.
A really strange path this morning. I have to set aside more time to digest your thoughts and how they fit into the path I am on for the day. (However, I do know the medication issue - if I don't get up and immediately take the morning group, I discover them when it is time for the evening ones or if prepping dinner doesn't include the evening meds they are waiting in the morning.)