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Judi Blue Hair's avatar

I was first lector last evening and felt honored to read the words because our world needs to read, take to heart the opportunity to proclaim these words from thousands of years ago.

Thomas's avatar

Realized lately that I'd hidden too many pains from myself by dissociating, and a few joys. And the joys hurt more, which is weird, but kinda me if you know me. And re-connecting with all of that felt like a dam breaking and likely rearranged some relationships I thought were deeply set in my life.

In a way, some of these experiences made me think of Paul's epistle this morning, the infamous "I do the thing I don't want to do." I think I was dissociating because I was afraid of my selfishness, my wants, somewhat in line with how I was raised. And in that way I was carrying my own sins in a way that wasn't healthy. By holding them a certain way, I was hiding them from my own awareness, but also making my life a lot heavier. The weird thing was that outing myself in a certain sense made everything lighter. I really feel more honest now. And it is, I think, the right way to be in the long run. Even if I'm cracked, at least I can try to bridge the cracks and draw myself back together. That's healing. I can also deal with the screwed up bits of myself because I can look at them honestly.

Maybe politics is the same. A stranger on bsky was talking about hating people for having the wrong POV's, and I could understand that, even empathize, but I didn't think it was helpful. I can't hate people. I have to work with them, though I don't actively seek them out. And they are not my cross to bear, nor my yoke.

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